NEWS IN BR…F: Monday, May 16th, 2011

Crosby Still Unable To Work Out, Clean Room, Do Dishes






Fiesta Bowl Pays NCAA $1 Million In Small, Unmarked Bills






McLane Sells Astros, Quickly Calls “No Givebacks”






Source: Posada Unhappy With Yankees’ Unhappiness With Jeter’s “Posada Unhappy” Comments






Thrashers President: “We Will Explore All Options Of Roads Heading Out Of Atlanta”

NEWS IN BR…F: Tuesday, May 10, 2011

World Cup Bribery Allegations “Completely False” Says FIFA Official’s Golden Robot Butler






Reggie Bush Causes Stir On Twitter With Too-Obvious “Osama Death Certificate” Joke






Haynesworth Physically Unable To Complete Sexual Abuse






LeBron Apologizes For “R-Word” Comment, Says He Meant To Use N-Word






Waivers Release Milton Bradley

NEWS IN BR…F: Monday, May 2, 2011

Braves’ McDowell Apologizes For “Acting Like A Total Fag”






Fan Thinks Player He Watched Once Could Be Draft Sleeper






Miguel Cabrera Completes DUI-Free Weekend






Falcons Sign Up For Health Class To Pad Draft Grade






Yankees Sign Philly Robot Arm To Minor-League Contract

NEWS IN BR…F: Tuesday, November 2nd, 2010

Zito, Rowand, DeRosa “Big Three” Carry Giants To Victory






Cliff Lee: “I Could Return To Rangers If They Pay Me A Total F*ckton”






Redskins Interested In Moss, Russell, Merriman, Smallpox Blankets






Big East To Add 2 Football Teams, Bringing Total To 4






Parise Injured, Would Lend Stick To Hedberg If He Feels Like Playing Up

NEWS IN BR…F: Tuesday, October 26th, 2010

Romo Breaks Clavicle, Ending Cowboys Season Two Weeks Ago






Zito Still Awkwardly Hanging Out With Giants






Lamoriello To MacLean: “I Won’t Fire You That Much Sooner Than Every Other Devils Coach”






Marijuana Arrest Reminds Buccaneers To Cut Jerramy Stevens






Eagles’ Reid Burns Timeout During Bye Week

NEWS IN BR…F: Wednesday, September 15, 2010

• Jets Fail To Back Up Sexual Boasts






• Bush Forfeits Heisman For “Teammates,” Bunch Of Illegal Stuff He Did






• Padres’ Gonzalez: “We Know We Can Blow This”






• Packers Forget To Pick Up Brandon Jackson In Fantasy






• NFL Insists Overturned Calvin Johnson TD Was “Retarded But Correct”

NEWS IN BR…F: Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

• Brady Pulls Off Dramatic Last-Second Contract Extension






• NCAA To Revoke Bush’s Heisman, Forfeit $7 Billion They Made Off Him






• Packers Now Awesome






• Hoffman Records 600th Dumb Fantasy Stat






• Intimidated By Having Heard Of Him, Seahawks Cut Houshmandzadeh

NEWS IN BR…F: Wednesday, August 4th 2010

• Report: Favre To Retire, Boy Cries Wolf






• Celtics Begin Youth Movement, Sign Shaq






• Haynesworth Unable To Finish Dinner






• A-Rod Hits Nice Round Numbered Home Run






• Chicago Releases Blackhawks To Get Under Cap

NEWS IN BR…F: Wednesday, July 28th 2010

• Strasburg Shows Flashes Of Hall-Of-Fame Shoulder Inflammation






• Bryant: “I’m Not Here To Carry Pads, I’m Here To Field Questions About Carrying Pads For The Next Seven Weeks”






• Devils Propose Efficient, Hard-To-Watch Defense Of Kovalchuk Contract






• Bengals Sign Owens To Distract From Distractions






• Rangers Successfully Convince Frolov The Colby Amstrong Deal Never Happened

NEWS IN BR…F: Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

• LeBron Mum On Lunch Destination






• Kovalchuk Deciding Between Newark, Long Island, Russia, Hanging Self






• JaMarcus Russell Swears It Was Just His Daily Corn Syrup






• Maple Leafs Celebrate 5th Year Of Trying To Trade Kaberle






• Vick Not Charged In Party Shooting, Still Killed A Bunch Of Dogs