Posts Tagged ‘James Harrison’

You Guys All Know That James Harrison Isn’t Retiring, Right?

October 20, 2010

The top story on both Post-Gazette.com and ESPN.com today were “James Harrison Mulling Retirement”. Backing up this ridiculous, overblown, intentionally eye-grabbing headline is the following stupid quote from Harrison’s agent, in a very obvious attempt to legitimize his client’s gripe with his most recent fine through dramatic, exaggeratedly defensive rhetoric:

“We wouldn’t joke about this,” Parise said. “This is a very serious issue. James is very concerned about how to play football. If James is going to be fined $75,000 for making a legal tackle, then how do you go play football? It’s quite frustrating to James, to Coach Tomlin, to me, to everybody.”

Congratulations, James Harrison’s agent and news sites being obligated to post this as a shocking news story so everyone clicks on it and talks about it at the water cooler (do people still talk about stuff at water coolers? Or were they scrapped when Seinfeld went off the air?)

The thing is, no one has EVER retired from professional sports while at the top of their game and making tens of millions of dollars, barring injury, age, or some absolutely massive controversy. The closest examples I can think of:

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James Harrison Fined: NOOOOOOO!!!

September 22, 2010

James Harrison was fined $5,000 for his weird “bodyslam” hit on Vince Young Sunday, which seems justifiable, even though a penalty wasn’t called on the play.

The funniest part of the article? This sentence:

Asked Wednesday after practice if the hit was worth paying the fine, Harrison said “No!”

“No!” With an exclamation point? So he actually yelled the word “NO” at Ed Bouchette?

Did he say it like this?

Steelers 15, Falcons 9 (OT): Ben WHO? Oh, The Really Good QB Who Could’ve Helped Today. Never Mind.

September 13, 2010

Thoughts on the Steelers’ 15-9 Week One win over the Falcons:

- It’d be instinctual to declare that Dennis Dixon played “well enough not to lose,” but in reality, despite his respectable 18-26, 236 yds, 1 Int statline, he didn’t play all that great. Granted, no one was expecting him to will the team to victory singlehandedly, but he did throw two other balls that should’ve easily been intercepted by the Falcons, in addition to at least three balls in the first half thrown right into the ground towards open receivers that would’ve gone for first downs.

Looking at the result, obviously, we have to say that Dixon played well enough for the Steelers to win, because they did. But if Atlanta hangs on to one of those INTs, we’re very likely looking at a flip-flopped score and saying the exact opposite about Dixon’s performance. He played ok, and will need to play a lot better against Tennessee next week.

- Did anyone have any confidence that the Steelers would pull this one off after Jeff Reed missed that 40-yard field goal? First off, I never entertained the possibility he’d miss from 40 yards in that situation — I tried to pretend I was nervous, like how I try to convince myself I’m nervous on planes, not because I’m scared but just because I don’t want to be a smug, overconfident D-bag then have something actually go wrong — but then sure enough, there went the kick wide right.

So how’d the team pull off the W after going 60 touchdown-less minutes and missing a deflating game-ending field goal? At least for today, the Steelers’ D reverted from the Polamalu-and-Smith-less “play well at times” defense of ’09 back to the “who cares what the O and special teams do, we’re just gonna win this” D of yesteryear. The defense gave up some yards, as all defenses will against competent NFL offenses, but they shut down the Falcons’ run game, they allowed no big plays, they dominated when the Falcons crossed the 50, and they pulled out a turnover at the absolute most opportune time. As frustrating as it was to watch successful quick-outs to Roddy White landing in rapid succession, the Steelers’ D played about as well as we could’ve expected a defense to play under today’s circumstances.

- It’s not even worth pointing out any more that James Harrison gets held on every play. Typing that is no more informative than just copying and pasting facts about the sport of football. James Harrison gets held constantly. A regulation football field is 100 yards long. Fortunately, the Steelers get one “Actually Call Holding On The Guy Holding Harrison” Card per game, and they used it at the perfect time. The picture on the card is the Monopoly guy with his arm wrapped around James Harrison’s neck.

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James Harrison Wants No Part Of Barack Obama’s Super Bowl Congratulations Scheme

May 18, 2009

James Harrison says he won’t be accepting Barack Obama’s invitation to the White House, and gives the following iron-clad reasoning:

“If you want to see the Pittsburgh Steelers, invite us when we don’t win the Super Bowl,” he told Pittsburgh’s WTAE-TV. “So as far as I’m concerned he would have invited Arizona if they had won.”

Well, yes, James, that’s exactly the point — the President is inviting you to the White House specifically to congratulate your team on winning the Super Bowl, there’s no pretense or hidden agenda here. It’s not like some deadbeat dad is randomly coming out of the woodwork to ask to borrow money because you won the Super Bowl, this happens to every team that wins a championship in every sport.

Believe it or not, George W. Bush did not happen to be close personal friends with the 2003 Florida Marlins; he wasn’t like “Oh wow, I was gonna invite Todd Hollandsworth and Tim Spooneybarger to the White House anyway, as Presidents often do to random professional athletes, but now everyone’s just gonna think I’m inviting them cause they won the World Series!”


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