ESPN Takes Hockey Hatred To New Level Of Childishness With High-larious Poll

We get it, ESPN, you don’t cover hockey because only three dudes in Minnesota and one guy in Buffalo who relocated from Minnesota are the only people in the country who care about this quirky, upstart “National Hockey Sporting League,” but thanks for making sure to temper the most exciting hockey night of 2009 with a reader poll that’s a completely pointless, patronizing, and thoroughly transparent slap at the sport that isn’t on your network (except for occasional seven second bursts wedged in between a meaningless Dewayne Wade regular season dunk and another meaningless Dewayne Wade regular season dunk in the same highlight reel):

ESPN Poll Hockey

Some other suggestions for future ESPN polls to make sure no one begins to accidentally be excited by this zany activity for inbred Canadians:

— “Which do you care about more, Crosby vs. Ovechkin or a story about my cat licking its own asshole?”

— “Which is more of an actual sports league, The National Hockey League or The League Of My Cat Licking Its Own Asshole?”

— “Which network would you rather watch, The Worldwide Leader In Sports or a network that only showed images of hockey projected onto my cat’s asshole while he was licking it?”

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One Response to “ESPN Takes Hockey Hatred To New Level Of Childishness With High-larious Poll”

  1. Chris Says:

    This poll occurred after half of the teams were eliminated from the playoffs. I imagine a few more states would be red if, say, the Flyers, Rangers, Devils, or even the Sharks were still in it. Obviously fans of those teams don’t care anymore. With only 440 votes cast, a handful here or there would have made a huge differene.

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