National Football Post Still Not Sold On This Roethlisberger Fellow; Prefers Carson Palmer

This article from the National Football Post is token dumb, inflammatory internet BS from a site that I’m pretty sure is a spin-off of the Daily Puppy, but which I’ll now waste my time ridiculing (and thus buying into its comment-baiting motive) nonetheless.

Who Are The Franchise QBs?

What defines a franchise quarterback, and who are the players who fall into that category? Today, I’ll discuss what it means to be a franchise quarterback in the NFL and tell you who they exactly are. The results might surprise you.

Ohhh, will they ever.

The Franchise Quarterbacks

1. Peyton Manning, Colts

2. Tom Brady, Patriots

3. Drew Brees, Saints

Fine. I can deal with Manning above Brady at the moment, given Brady’s injury and the Patriots missing the playoffs; nothing crazy here.

4. Carson Palmer, Bengals

Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa – cue this sound effect – Carson Palmer?? The dude with one career postseason pass attempt?

Palmer has suffered some recent injuries…

What you call “some recent injuries” I might call “he no longer has a knee on either one of his legs, which now resemble Lieutenant Dan’s mid-90s CGI’d invisible stumps.” Sure, Rae Carruth has had his share of off-field distractions…

…but it doesn’t hide that fact that, besides the players I just listed, he could walk into any other NFL huddle and win the job.

You hear that, Roethlisberger? Better hope the Steelers don’t invite Carson Palmer to training camp, or you’re toast. Particularly if he is never asked to move a step without crumpling to dust before taking your starting job, you Super Bowl passenger.

Can make every throw in the book. I watched him during my career, and there aren’t many guys who can play the position like he can.

Whoa, you “watched him during your career?” Easy there, Scouty McScouterson! Here I was, questioning your judgment, yet I had no idea you had such privileged access to be able to watch a player in the most covered, televised sport in the nation. My bad.

And for the hell of it, Carson Palmer’s last healthy season, 2007: 16 GP, 64.9 Cmp%, 26 TD, league-leading 20 Int, Bengals finished 7-9 and missed playoffs. The defense was bad, allowing 385 points, but the Browns allowed 382 and went 10-6 on the shoulders of Derek “Franchise” Anderson.

5. Philip Rivers, Chargers

Not particularly egregious, until you read this…

On The Fence

This group of quarterbacks is almost there, but there’s something in their games that keeps them from making my top group.

1. Ben Roethlisberger, Steelers

… Ba… m.  . … smeh… wh ….    wha? What?

Forget about the Super Bowl rings because the issue with Roethlisberger is that the Steelers still have to manage him.

… Ba… m.  . … smeh… wh ….    wha? What?

He plays within the Pittsburgh offensive attack instead of the team building their offense around him.

[Two-hour pause.] Ok.

So, you’re one of those media types who thinks Pittsburgh is still a power-running team because they happened to have been in the past, and that’s fine. I imagine you’re also the person who still unironically refers to Pittsburgh as “Steeltown”, and still goes to Julia Roberts first as an example of a hot Hollywood actress. This is all totally fine, just clarifying what we’re dealing with here.

Consider, Ben Roethlisberger threw an average of 21.1 and 22.3 times per game in his first two seasons, respectively. He has thrown an average of 31.3, 26.9, and 29.3 times per game from 2006-2008, with the spike in ’06 noticeably affected by the Steelers trailing in more games than usual that season. The Steelers’ rush offense fell from 3rd in the NFL in 2007 to 23rd in 2008, while the passing offense improved from 22nd to 17th; excluding the 8-8 2006 season, in which the Steelers racked up uncharacteristic garbage passing yards while trailing, their passing offensive rank has improved every year since Roethlisberger took over. By definition, the offense is depending more an more on him each year. The Steelers still have to “manage him,” though, meaning…he has coaches?

Additionally, the phrase “he plays within the Pittsburgh offensive attack” is completely and utterly meaningless. What offensive attack would that be? Willie Parker’s four 100-yard regular season performances, two of which came against Cleveland? Wildcat direct-snaps to Heath Miller? Flea flickers from Gary Russell on which Roethlisberger was merely a decoy? By what conceivable measure is the Steelers offense not entirely built around Ben Roethlisberger?

Also, “Forget the Super Bowl rings” is all anyone has to say to completely nullify that aspect of the argument? I realize that Super Bowl rings depend on having a great team, not just a great quarterback — no one is arguing this point — and the Steelers have indeed had their fair share of dominant defenses, but how can the wholly hypothetical argument that Carson Palmer might win games on a better team possibly supersede the fact that Roethlisberger HAS won on good teams, multiple times?  I’m not even gonna waste time getting into the 2008 Steelers’ offensive line and their “Tecmo Bowl when the defense picked the right play” run-blocking.

Why am I even wasting my time debating this article? That Daily Puppy managing editor really knows how to stir the shit.

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One Response to “National Football Post Still Not Sold On This Roethlisberger Fellow; Prefers Carson Palmer”

  1. illaim Says:

    ’m not even gonna waste time getting into the 2008 Steelers’ offensive line and their “Tecmo Bowl when the defense picked the right play” run-blocking.

    Lmao..

    Your post was already good, that line just pushed it into greatness tho.

    How many comebacks must Ben engineer or rings must he attain before he gains his proper respect?

    The Guy is like a Neo Elway.

    You can put Brady ahead of him easy, and Peyton based on the longevity of his high quality of work in the two slot, but if Big Ben isn’t in anyone’s top 3 let alone top 5, bias or ineptness must be at play.

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