Post-Gazette Adds Hilarious New Onion-Style “Joke Headlines” Section

Check out this wacky fake headline on today:

Kunitz Headline

Haha…good one, Molinari! I would’ve gone with “Goal-less Kunitz clear front-runner for Conn Smythe,” but your fake headline is a lot more subtle.

Did you remember to add humorous, made-up quotes like The Onion?

“That’s when you get into more trouble, when you start over-thinking or trying to do too much,” Kunitz said.

Haha, nice! Kunitz’s problem is that he’s clearly trying to do too much. It’s hard to miss the net and have your shots blocked when you’re also turning pucks over constantly; you have to simplify your game and do one or the other. Go on:

“Obviously, you want to score and help offensively, but I know I have other responsibilities,” he said: “Going to the net, recovering pucks, being physical.”

He added, “All of which Sidney Crosby has been doing brilliantly. And I’m often on the ice when it happens.”

Bring us home with a quote about Kunitz not caring about his slump, joke article:

“I don’t think I’m lacking confidence,” he said. “It’s just one of those things where we keep winning and doing well, it’s not something I think about.”

“It,” meaning, “how I’ve been playing?” He doesn’t think about how he’s playing because the team beat the Capitals four games to three? I think this quote was maybe a little too farfetched, Molinari, even for an Onion-style article. It has to at least be a little believable that the person might actually say it.

Overall, though, love the new joke articles feature! Make the next one about Matthieu Garon expecting to start Game Two!



One Response to “Post-Gazette Adds Hilarious New Onion-Style “Joke Headlines” Section”

  1. Oz Says:

    Entirely too funny.

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