Ian Snell Wanted To Get Sent Down To The Minors No Seriously You Guys Really

You know that friend who gets tipsy and starts hitting on some freshman at your party, even though he’s not aware of how obviously drunk and stupid he sounds, then when she ends up blowing him off, he goes on and on about how much she sucks and how funny it was that he pretended to hit on her but really wasn’t actually hitting on her no seriously you guys seriously?

Well…here’s Ian Snell’s quote about being sent down to AAA Indianapolis:

“I wasn’t going to allow them to say what they want. I told them I wanted to go down. It’s best for the team… I don’t want to point fingers and make excuses. I just made a better decision for myself, my career and my life.”

Hmm…knowing what I know about Ian Snell and his tendency to publicly blame his teammates for missing a ground ball that scores the nineteen runners he walked that inning, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that Ian Snell prooooobably didn’t go to Neal Huntington and ask to be sent down to the minors. In fact, no pitchers ever do this, ever. In fact, no employees in any field do this, ever. Who’s ever gone to their boss and been like, “I know I haven’t been doing such a great job lately – I want you to demote me to the Akron branch office, I think it’d be best for all of us.”

The P-G’s Dejan Kovacevic then asked Snell “what he feels he needs to do,” and Snell offered this response to further confirm that Ian Snell is insane:

“Nothing. You guys don’t understand it unless you played baseball. You don’t understand it, and the people at home don’t understand it. I’m just going down there, get my thoughts together and do well.”

What does any of that mean? Is Snell some eccentric, Parisian modern artist who’s just had it with society’s inability to comprehend his brilliance? We simply cannot possibly understand the deep, spiritual healing Snell must undergo by his self-imposed journey to a league for worse professional ballplayers.

It’s naive to think we can ever actually come to know a player from their random quotes to the press, and equally meaningless to demand unwavering interview clichés of reassurance, but Snell’s words are just constantly, confoundingly meaningless. What is this guy talking about? Ever? Why does he agree to speak English words to a person whose job it is to convey those words to other human beings who try to make sense of those words?

Someone please be sure to teach Charlie Morton how to say “Eh, I had a bad outing, but it happens, I’m moving forward.” No matter how robotically clichéd it ends up sounding, at least we’ll know he’s not completely and utterly insane.


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One Response to “Ian Snell Wanted To Get Sent Down To The Minors No Seriously You Guys Really”

  1. yinzer b Says:

    It’s like he was channeling his inner Kenny Powers. Except the only funny thing about Snell is his pitching.

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