WEEK 1: Steelers 13, Titans 10 (OT)

Sorry for the slightly late Recap, devoted readers (Dad), but I was too busy following the Steelers’ slight, underwhelming victory by slightly, underwhelmingly celebrating (had two PBRs then went to sleep – I feel that was sufficient for this one).

I couldn’t get over how amazingly similar this win was to every other frickin’ Steeler win last season:

– Completely nonexistant running game.

Roethlisberger miraculously avoids sack only to get sacked humorously farther back.

– Roethlisberger throws an interception so randomly and unexpectedly, you don’t even get angry cause it seems like it didn’t really happen.

Troy Polamalu is good. At least, until the Cobra Kai Sensei instructs Fatty McCrumpler to fall on his knee and injure him.

– The defense gives up first downs but somehow keeps not allowing points, and the passing offense gets its crap together in time to narrowly win. The offense is again “clutch.”

A win is a win (am I the first person to ever write that? Definitely) and an early season win against a quality Tennessee team is certainly nothing to get discouraged about, even if the running game looked like porn for gangtacklers; if the Steelers can just keep their obvious flaws to exactly overlapping last year’s obvious flaws, maybe they can win the damn Super Bowl again. Does that count as a line of reasoning? Eh, why the hell not.

Still, the game was full of legitimate positives:

Mike Wallace found himself in a number of formations and came up huge in overtime; given the Steelers’ reluctance to incorporate Limas Sweed into their offense last season, and historical reluctance to depend on any rookie receiver this early into a season (since Plaxico, and that first year worked out great), Wallace must really be impressing the coaches. Either that, or Sweed is already terrible. But I’m a glass-is-quarter-full kind of guy.

— It’s easy to forget because of his legendary postseason performance, but Santonio Holmes wasn’t an exceptional receiver last season — 55 catches, 821 yards and 5 TD is hardly the statline of a #1 receiving threat in a pass-reliant offense — but Holmes caught absolutely everything yesterday, ripping up the Titans for 9 catches, 131 yards and a TD. In the pregame, Cris Collinsworth joined a swelling chorus of optimists proclaiming that the Steelers might actually be better this season than last, and Holmes’ marked improvement certainly makes the case plausible.

— Speaking of improvement, how ’bout those Steeler special teams? After that Stefan Logan opening kickoff return, I was expecting Roethlisberger to reflexively jog towards the 14 yard line then be like “whoa, shit, where are we starting this drive from? Up there?? Is that legal? Did one of the Titans headbutt the ref’s wife during the kickoff or something?” After that kick return and Daniel Sepulveda’s first punt, my friends and I all agreed that they had just won the Super Bowl again. Literally – I’m pretty sure they got another Lombardi Trophy after that punt. I looked away for a second though.

— Also, I don’t blame Hines Ward for not going down on that fumble play. Yes, as Collinsworth correctly pointed out, the game would’ve been essentially over, but no one in the NFL ever thinks to just suddenly drop to the ground on plays like that, other than Brian Westbrook that one time and Marvin Harrison on every play of his NFL career regardless of the situation. If Ward had just been tackled regularly at the 2 or whatever, no one would’ve been like “whoooa, dangerous play there, Ward should’ve just gone down,” it would’ve just looked like every other normal play. What he does need to do in that situation — and this is just my radical opinion — is not fumble.

All said and done, the Steelers are 1-0 and beat the only team that totally manhandled them a year ago. If only there were some way we could tamper with the scoreboard in Chicago to make the Steelers believe that the first quarter is the third…

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One Response to “WEEK 1: Steelers 13, Titans 10 (OT)”

  1. Pittsburgh Fan Says:

    Ha ha ha … thanks for the hilarious recap of the game, it definitely brightened my Saturday here at work (Yes I said Saturday and work in the same sentence). Sweed was all but forgotten Thursday night which is good because I don’t want to see another dropped pass because a DB was within 15 yards of the guy as he tried catching it then lays there “hurt” because he sucks. Another thing I noticed that was particular with Logan. Why was he always confused at the end of the play as to what to do with the ball? He wanted to just put it down on the ground after every play and then after a punt I believe he put it down, picked it up to hand it to a ref, and then put it back down. Do they do things different in the CFL?

    The King

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