What’s A Term For “Train Wreck” But Without The Positive Connotations?

I watched the Pirates game again last night — why does typing this sentence feel so much like an AA introduction? — not as much for actual entertainment’s sake as for the bizarre, self-righteous mindset (shared by Pat of WHYGAVS) that watching the team allows my criticisms to at least carry a little more oomph than the person who just says “All they care about is money, they suck, I quit watching three years ago.” Basically, I never want to turn into the dude who says how bad SNL has gotten even though they haven’t watched it since ninth grade (in those Jim Breuer glory years!)

Anyway, my question: What term can we use to describe the Pirates’ play over the past month and a half? The phrase “train wreck” doesn’t totally apply, because that insinuates that even though it’s a terrible tragedy, there’s a base, perverse aspect to the tragedy that draws your attention. These Pirates have gone way past train wreck, being so consistently, confoundingly bad for a long enough period that it isn’t even sadistically humorous, it’s just flat-out joyless on every conceivable level.

What about, two boring things crashing? A “Jay Leno wreck”? Nah, a little too sadistic, plus I’d want to watch and see how that happened. Two Nickelback albums colliding? Nah, also too much fun to watch, plus they have a much larger fanbase than the Pirates.

Wait — I think I’ve got it. Something completely and utterly joyless that isn’t even ironically or perversely entertaining and no one gives a crap about? Yeah, I’ve definitely got it.

This Pirates season is like a “DVD of the movie Son Of The Mask wreck”:

Watching The Pirates

Other suggestions? Leave ’em in the comments. Though I believe my term is pretty comprehensive and accurate.



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