Pens Juggle Lines In Effort To Have Two New Dudes Botch Crosby’s One-Timers

Dan Bylsma, tired of forcing Pens fans to yell at Chris Kunitz and Bill Guerin for never burying scoring chances created by Crosby, has graciously switched up the Penguins’ line combinations to give fans different dudes to get mad at for not finishing:

Perhaps being separated from longtime wingers Bill Guerin and Chris Kunitz will benefit Crosby, who has gone a career-long four games with no points. He skated with wingers Matt Cooke and Ruslan Fedotenko, while Guerin and Kunitz moved to a line with Jordan Staal. (P-G)

I’m predicting that Cooke will actually score an ugly goal in the first period against the Bruins tonight, Bob Errey will praise him for going to the net and not being afraid to pick up the garbage and score the dirty goal and pick up the dirty goal garbage and literally take out the garbage in his house when the garbage bag is full of garbage, and Crosby and Cooke will remain together for three more games until everyone simultaneously realizes “Oh wait, this guy’s not a top line winger, why did be believe that for so long after his one goal?” and the lines will switch back.

Pascal Dupuis isn’t involved, so that’s a plus. But just so we’re all on the same page, repeat after me:

“Dammit, Fedotenko, you have to bury that!”

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