Penguins 3, Canadiens 2: What A Great Night For Pittsburgh Sports

The Penguins completely dominated Montreal last night, outshooting them by a brutal 41-21 margin, and this was on the road; with the Mellon Arena statkeepers, the final shots would’ve been tallied as A Googleplex Times Infinity Plus One – 0 (even Montreal’s goals wouldn’t have counted as shots).

Despite their dominance, the Pens still received an astonishingly lucky break when an insane inadvertant whistle in the final minutes of the third period waived off what should’ve been a third Montreal goal to tie the game. Replays showed that Fleury not only didn’t freeze the puck, but the puck barely even slowed down or was out of sight for any length of time, and Fleury even loudly and articulately yelled “OH NO I HAVE NOT FROZEN THE PUCK AND NOW IT IS LOOSE!” and the ref was standing three millimeters from the puck next to a neon sign that said “Puck: Three Millimeters That Way” with one of those strings of neon arrows that lights up in succession to a rhythm.

Needless to say, the Montreal fans — who boo everything that happens anyway, including the zambonis, the “Timeouts Remaining” space on the scoreboard, and gravity — booed the crap out of the call, justifiably. One fan even threw a shoe onto the ice, mistaking the ice for George W. Bush and now for a year ago.

Regardless, the Pens would have in all likelihood won this game anyway either in the final five minutes or overtime, given how badly they dominated that third period (15-6 shot advantage), but Montreal probably would’ve salvaged a point. But they didn’t. They also should have just signed Marian Gaborik instead of trading for Scott Gomez, which I will continue to mention in every post about this stupid team that helped the stupid Rangers by taking on their stupid contract of stupid money. Montreal also received a DVD of The Stupids in that trade.

…And who scored the winning goal tonight? PASCAL DUPUIS SCORED BY DOING ‘THE DUPUIS’!!!!!!!!! Once a game, Dupuis cranks a slap shot from the left wing just inside the blue line, and once every three months, it acutally goes in, thus justifying the subsequent three months of him trying it continuously until it happens again. A third-period game-winner will justify The Dupuis for at least the next millennium; it’ll be passed down to generation after generation of aspiring long-slapshot takers in the Dupuis clan.

Indeed, Thursday December 10, 2008 was a terrific night for all Pittsburgh sports fans.


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One Response to “Penguins 3, Canadiens 2: What A Great Night For Pittsburgh Sports”

  1. Greg Says:

    Dupuis for Team Canada!

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