There’s no easier, more infallible way to tell your team’s season is over than when you issue the following statement unironically:
“Crap, I think we scored to quick, we definitely left Bruce Gradkowski too much time.”
As soon as I uttered that sentence, a giant rift in the earth opened up and swallowed the Steelers and their slim playoff hopes along with it, leaving behind nothing on this terrestrial earth in the team’s place other than the refreshingly definitive notion that the Steelers will be drafting a corner in the first round this year.
I realize Troy Polamalu is out, but my God, could anyone have ever foreseen the defense playing this consistently terribly? I had absolutely no confidence that the team was gonna stop the Raiders on any of their three fourth-quarter touchdown drives, including the last one beginning from the 10 with 90 seconds remaining in the game and Oakland needing a touchdown. Last season, I would’ve been more confident that the Steelers would’ve caused a sack-fumble for a touchdown than for them to give up two consecutive first downs, let alone a 90-yard game-winning touchdown drive at home to Bruce Gradkowski and a bunch of receivers whose names had never been uttered before on this earth before their respective 50-yard game-breaking receptions.
The Raiders loss also featured some brand-new, never-before-seen Steeler mistakes that definitely don’t in any way remind us of their previous five losses this season: