Archive for the ‘Steelers’ Category

Not Worst Steelers News Of The Week: Hines Ward Pulled Over And Handcuffed

May 5, 2011


Pittsburgh Steelers superstar Hines Ward was removed from a vehicle at gunpoint by LAPD officers and placed in handcuffs this morning in L.A. — but he was NOT arrested … TMZ has learned.

The “Dancing with the Stars” contestant was a passenger in a Honda Civic around 2 AM … when LAPD officers flipped on their lights and sirens and pulled the car over.

Law enforcement sources tell us cops had run the license plate and noticed the car had been reported stolen. We’re told police drew their weapons … and ordered both Hines and the female driver out of the car and placed them both in handcuffs.

The female driver then explained … SHE was the person who reported the car stolen in the first place after an incident involving a valet. But she got her car back … and forgot to tell cops to call off the alert.

We’re told the officers verified her story — and eventually let both Hines and the driver leave without further incident. Law enforcement sources tell us Hines was VERY cooperative and understanding about the situation.

Whew! For a second there, I was gonna be like, “Can we stop doing stupid shit for one week, Steelers?”

Ward then randomly screamed at the officers, “You know 9/11 never actually happened, right?”

Ahhhh dammit.


You Guys, I Think Cameron Heyward Is Gonna Be Really Awesome

April 29, 2011

The Steelers selected Ohio State defensive end Cameron Heyward with the 31st overall pick in the 2011 NFL Draft. Heyward, son of former Pitt and NFL running back Craig “Ironhead” Heyward, was projected to go right around the #25-32 range in most mock drafts, but as all hometown fans want to know the day after the Draft, how good will this kid really be in the NFL?

To find out, let’s hear from the Post-Gazette’s Gerry Dulac, who covered the Draft last night on Twitter:

That is some truly excellent coverage. His dad once ate dinner? Sounds like the Steelers got a solid value at #31.

Jets 22, Steelers 17: New York Wins Battle Of Playing The Most OK

December 20, 2010

When you’re playing a comparable team, and you’re both playing comparably, and you give up a special teams touchdown and create zero turnovers, you’re pretty much going to lose. Roethlisberger played ok, not great or terrible, the offensive line played ok, not great or terrible, the Polamalu-less defense played ok, not great or terrible, the special teams played not ok, not great, but terrible, and the end result was an unsurprising close defeat.

Also, yes, the officiating in this game was again awful, with the refs missing a pretty obvious Pass Interference call on a potential Emmanuel Sanders game-winning touchdown, as well another weekly installment of NFL Personal Foul Wacky FlagzTM. I’ve grown so completely numb to the prospects of arguing over the NFL’s new helmet-to-helmet mandate this season and the exhausting “Am I even seeing the same dimension of reality as these commentators?” questions contained within, I have no energy nor new insight to expend on this subject anymore. I also have no idea what anything means anymore — we are through the officiating looking glass, people.

Hopefully on this side of the looking glass, the Steelers just beat Carolina and Cleveland and snag the #2 seed anyway (if they cannot do this, they’ll have certainly earned a not-#2 seed), then get Polamalu and Heath Miller back for the Playoffs, because seriously, those human beings are good at football. Are the Steelers going to beat New England? Nope. Could they conceivably lose a home playoff game to Baltimore, The Jets, San Diego, Indy, or Kansas City? Except Kansas City, yep.

Basically, I think we’re all in Gravy-mode at this point, where we realize the Steelers are banged-up and are a major long shot to win the Super Bowl, despite having their #2 seeded destiny in their hands, but there’s so many other teams with similar question marks that we’re just for the Steelers to go out later than other teams we dislike more. Meaning, it’s an NFL season.

Steelers Cut Jeff Reed; Future Of Ed Hardy Cleet Industry In Jeopardy

November 16, 2010

Bad news, operators of Pittsburgh-area bottleservice clubs: The Steelers have released Jeff Reed. In his place, the Steelers signed former Redskins and Cowboys kicker Shaun Suisham, who’s spent the past eight months as a free agent looking for work as part of a tongue twister.

There’s always an inherent risk when a team switches kickers, since individuals’ performances at the position can fluctuate wildly at random times, but Reed’s recent performance forced the Steelers’ hand here. Plus, even in the worst-case scenario, Suisham likely won’t be worse than Reed has been so far this year, just either the same or an obvious upgrade (hopefully the latter).

Reed’s tenure with the team has been more than productive, and he does have two Super Bowls on his resume, but after constant inexcusable missed field goals throughout the 2010 season, now’s as good a time as any to dust off the old “NFL is a business” cliches. I just hope Kevin Colbert remembered to pad the towel dispenser in the bathroom outside his office.

Steelers 27, Bengals 21: That Was A Really Close Blowout

November 10, 2010

Dan At 10:40 pm: Hey Dan.

Dan At 10:10 pm: AHHH! Who are you?

Dan At 10:40 pm: I’m you, thirty minutes in the future. I traveled back in time after the Steelers game ended.

Dan At 10:10 pm: Wha…Why? How?? Also, what would happen if we like made out–

Dan At 10:40 pm: SILENCE! I have come to tell you news from the future.

Dan At 10:10 pm: Why are you speaking like a God? You’re still me.

Dan At 10:40 pm: I am here to tell you that the Steelers will barely escape this game with a 6-point victory after a Bengal drops a fourth down pass that could’ve put them inside the Steelers’ 5 with a chance to win the game in the final minute, and you will be extremely relieved when this happens.

Dan At 10:10 pm: What?? This game??? Hahaha, silly Me, I’ve been watching this game for three quarters and one minute, and the Steelers are completely dominating on offense, defense, and special teams and they’re leading by 20 points against a broken-down quarterback and an offense that’s sputtered all night.


Saints 20, Steelers 10: Beloved Roethlisberger Falls To Hated City Of New Orleans

November 1, 2010

As far as Steeler losses go, losing to the Saints in New Orleans is about as digestible as they come; the Saints have struggled lately but they’re still the defending champs playing at home, plus it’s a non-conference game for the Steelers, and New Orleans is just about the least hateable fanbase in sports. I was still rooting for Pittsburgh, obviously, but if Roethlisberger had thrown a game-winning TD pass then ran around throwing Metal horns at the Superdome faithful, I’m positive my friends and I would’ve shared another awkward, unspoken “Why are we rooting for this A-hole again?” moment.

That’s not to say the manner of the Steelers’ loss wasn’t extremely frustrating. Between a failed First-and-Goal from the .000001 yard line, a terrible offensive pass interference call on Hines Ward that led to a missed 50-yard field goal, and the fourth fumble of Heath Miller’s career coming on the Saints’ 34, the Steelers left enough points on the field to sow a self-sustaining points farm. After the jump, let’s throw some blame around (or just hold onto the blame and take another sack):


Aaron Smith Undergoes Surgery, May Return This Season, Won’t Return This Season

October 26, 2010


Defensive end Aaron Smith had surgery Monday for a torn tricep tendon in his left arm, but it is possible he will not miss the remainder of the season.

Coach Mike Tomlin said today the Steelers will wait and see how Smith recovers from the surgery and, for now, will keep a roster spot open for their veteran defensive end.

Basically what you’re saying is, you’re not officially declaring him done for the year, but he’s definitely done for the year, right? I really don’t want to get my hopes up.

Forgive me if I’m skeptical, but after Troy Polamalu’s second injury last year was deemed not as bad as his first, which kept him out two games, and he ended up randomly missing the entire rest of the year, I now just assume that any major injury instantly means the guy’s done for the year, especially when it’s an injury that means the guy’s done for the year.

Hopefully ’09 first-round-pick Ziggy Hood can take a Timmons-like step forward in Smith’s absence, if only so I have more reason to pull out the Bill And Ted’s “Ziggy Piggy!” song whenever he sacks someone.

Still, I’ve always thought Smith’s muscle tears are extremely underrated; the attention always goes to the defensive ends with the most torn ACLs.

Steelers 23, Dolphins 22: Pittsburgh Ref Pittsburghs Pittsburgh To Pittsburgh Victory

October 25, 2010

I usually make it a point to be overly critical of calls in the Steelers’ favor (or the Penguins), because as an upfront Pittsburgh fan, it makes me look all awesomely objective on this blog when I’m like “The Steelers got away with this holding call” and everyone’s like “Wow he’s so objective, now I’m totally gonna pay attention to everything else he’s saying, and also sleep with him!” (That was a supermodel saying that. That’s the majority of my readers – WordPress totally tracks that.)

That said, the furor over the Steelers’ victory in Miami Sunday regarding Ben Roethlisberger’s fumble that the Steelers retained is incredibly misguided and overblown. Yes, the Steelers got lucky when the ref signaled “Touchdown,” but that’s it — there’s no more to this story than the ref signaling a Touchdown after incorrectly eyeballing in real-time that Ben Roethlisberger had actually begun to lose the ball before breaking the plane. Once that call has been made on the field, the inconclusive recovery of the ball becomes moot. This is not, as several sources have insinuated, some sort of Pittsburgh-riddled conspiracy of pierogie-eating homers hell-bent on covering up how the deal really went dahn.


You Guys All Know That James Harrison Isn’t Retiring, Right?

October 20, 2010

The top story on both and today were “James Harrison Mulling Retirement”. Backing up this ridiculous, overblown, intentionally eye-grabbing headline is the following stupid quote from Harrison’s agent, in a very obvious attempt to legitimize his client’s gripe with his most recent fine through dramatic, exaggeratedly defensive rhetoric:

“We wouldn’t joke about this,” Parise said. “This is a very serious issue. James is very concerned about how to play football. If James is going to be fined $75,000 for making a legal tackle, then how do you go play football? It’s quite frustrating to James, to Coach Tomlin, to me, to everybody.”

Congratulations, James Harrison’s agent and news sites being obligated to post this as a shocking news story so everyone clicks on it and talks about it at the water cooler (do people still talk about stuff at water coolers? Or were they scrapped when Seinfeld went off the air?)

The thing is, no one has EVER retired from professional sports while at the top of their game and making tens of millions of dollars, barring injury, age, or some absolutely massive controversy. The closest examples I can think of:


Steelers 28, Browns 10: Let The Awkward Cheering Begin!

October 18, 2010

That plan worked perfectly, huh? Have Ben Roethlisberger sit out four games, allow the story of his offseason troubles to fade a bit, force Steeler fans to put up with four weeks of Dennis Dixon and Charlie Batch sailing deep balls, have Brett Favre get busted for sending pictures of his penis to Jets staffers and BAM! Bring Ben back to crush the Browns and have everyone cheer him. Roethlisberger Cakes for all! Yes, that link is Safe For Work.

Roethlisberger wasn’t perfect in this game (sidenote to game stories that mentioned he wasn’t perfect: Ben Roethlisberger isn’t perfect when he’s regular), but he threw for 257 yards and three TDs, the last of which occurred only so we have to say “three TDs” in our accounts of Roethlisberger’s return game instead of the more pedestrian-sounding “two.”

I will say though, the Browns seemed to be decently well-coached; their offensive play calling wasn’t overly predictable, their defensive schemes legitimately puzzled the Steelers at times, and their punt team was the greatest punt team that ever punt teammed, but the Browns just really noticeably lack talent all over the field, and the outcome of this game was never actually in doubt. And I say that as a typical “try to psyche myself out no matter how good the Steelers are looking so I don’t jinx it” homer fan. Even though the First Half score and total yardage were close, Pittsburgh controlled this game from start to finish.

The CBS announcing team provided my favorite “guy announcing the Steelers” cliche, introducing Aaron Smith as the “Very Underrated” Aaron Smith. Why does everyone always, always use the exact word “underrated” to compliment Aaron Smith? This has been going on in Pittsburgh papers, on national broadcasts, on highlight shows, and amongst Steeler fans for about six years now. At some point, isn’t he just “Really Good”?

My only criticism of the Steelers in this one was their overuse of Rashard Mendenhall after the game was already sealed up. I’m probably just being picky, but Mendenhall finished the game with 27 carries and touched the ball 10 times in the fourth quarter, while Isaac Redman only carried the ball 6 times all game. I’d like to see the Steelers give the ball to Redman some more late in games that they’re dominating to save Mendenhall a bit; even though 30 touches isn’t an absurdly high number for a #1 back, the Steelers can’t afford to have Mendenhall wear down as the season goes on, so spreading some carries around here and there when games are already decided seems like a no-brainer. FIRE BRUCE ARIANS ZOMG!!!!

The Steelers are currently 3 point favorites at Miami next week. Facing Colt McCoy and Chad Henne in back-to-back weeks? Brutal college schedule.