Archive for the ‘Steelers’ Category

Yahoo Is Pissed At Jeff Reed Too

October 4, 2010

The Yahoo Fantasy Community reacts to Jeff Reed’s performance against the Ravens:

Dang. Wonder how many people dropped Flozell Adams?


James Harrison Fined: NOOOOOOO!!!

September 22, 2010

James Harrison was fined $5,000 for his weird “bodyslam” hit on Vince Young Sunday, which seems justifiable, even though a penalty wasn’t called on the play.

The funniest part of the article? This sentence:

Asked Wednesday after practice if the hit was worth paying the fine, Harrison said “No!”

“No!” With an exclamation point? So he actually yelled the word “NO” at Ed Bouchette?

Did he say it like this?

Steelers 19, Titans 11: Eleven Points? Let’s Step It Up Here, Defense

September 20, 2010

I had to DVR the Steelers’ Week 2 game against Tennessee and ended up watching it in the early evening, fast-forwarding commercials and in between plays, and perhaps because of this accelerated pace in addition to the actual game goings-on, nothing in this game felt real to me. If I had been watching it at a normal pace, with ample time in between each turnover to high-five friends and celebrate, maybe it would’ve been exciting, but watching every other play Tennessee attempted result in a turnover then witnessing another one three minutes later again and again was so just so far beyond surreal, my enthusiasm was tempered by my ongoing bewilderment. Did Dick LeBeau type in the NFL Blitz “Every Play Results In A Turnover” code? Because if he did, that’s super cheap. Though I waaaas awfully suspicious that James Harrison had a giant Bill Clinton head.

Now that I’ve mostly convinced myself that the game actually did occur, we have to state the obvious: The Steelers’ D did literally as much as a defense can possibly do to win a game for a team. Well, not literally, they could’ve forced eight turnovers, and for that I’m sure they lost some sleep. But seriously, a team that’s +3 in turnovers wins more than 90% of the time in NFL games, so I imagine a team that goes +6 in turnovers wins — lemmie do the math here real quick — ERROR UNDEFINED % of the time. My computer’s calculator gives an error when you divide “6” by “Yes seriously The Steelers were +6 in turnovers and still needed to make a stand on the last drive to prevent a tie game.” Since when can you not type smartass sentence-long comments into calculators and have the calculators use them to make calculations? I swear I saw something about that during one of the commercials I fast-forwarded. Or it might have been Dr. Pepper.

Bottom line, the Steelers are 2-0 heading into their Week 3 matchup at Tampa. Uhoh, might be Byron Leftwich’s highly-anticipated return against the Buccaneers! QUICK – FLEX IT! FLEX IT! Oop, the fictional executive who was yelling “Flex It” just got fired.

The Steelers are opening as 2.5 point favorites, even without a starting quarterback named for Sunday. Though really, as a gambler, don’t you feel a lot safer betting on the Steelers when you don’t know definitively that you’re laying your money on Charlie Batch or a hobbled Leftwich? We do know that Josh Freeman is gonna be starting for Tampa, and we also know who’s gonna be starting for the Steeler defense. If I throw a wad of bills at this blog post, does that count as betting on the Steelers?

Steelers 15, Falcons 9 (OT): Ben WHO? Oh, The Really Good QB Who Could’ve Helped Today. Never Mind.

September 13, 2010

Thoughts on the Steelers’ 15-9 Week One win over the Falcons:

– It’d be instinctual to declare that Dennis Dixon played “well enough not to lose,” but in reality, despite his respectable 18-26, 236 yds, 1 Int statline, he didn’t play all that great. Granted, no one was expecting him to will the team to victory singlehandedly, but he did throw two other balls that should’ve easily been intercepted by the Falcons, in addition to at least three balls in the first half thrown right into the ground towards open receivers that would’ve gone for first downs.

Looking at the result, obviously, we have to say that Dixon played well enough for the Steelers to win, because they did. But if Atlanta hangs on to one of those INTs, we’re very likely looking at a flip-flopped score and saying the exact opposite about Dixon’s performance. He played ok, and will need to play a lot better against Tennessee next week.

– Did anyone have any confidence that the Steelers would pull this one off after Jeff Reed missed that 40-yard field goal? First off, I never entertained the possibility he’d miss from 40 yards in that situation — I tried to pretend I was nervous, like how I try to convince myself I’m nervous on planes, not because I’m scared but just because I don’t want to be a smug, overconfident D-bag then have something actually go wrong — but then sure enough, there went the kick wide right.

So how’d the team pull off the W after going 60 touchdown-less minutes and missing a deflating game-ending field goal? At least for today, the Steelers’ D reverted from the Polamalu-and-Smith-less “play well at times” defense of ’09 back to the “who cares what the O and special teams do, we’re just gonna win this” D of yesteryear. The defense gave up some yards, as all defenses will against competent NFL offenses, but they shut down the Falcons’ run game, they allowed no big plays, they dominated when the Falcons crossed the 50, and they pulled out a turnover at the absolute most opportune time. As frustrating as it was to watch successful quick-outs to Roddy White landing in rapid succession, the Steelers’ D played about as well as we could’ve expected a defense to play under today’s circumstances.

– It’s not even worth pointing out any more that James Harrison gets held on every play. Typing that is no more informative than just copying and pasting facts about the sport of football. James Harrison gets held constantly. A regulation football field is 100 yards long. Fortunately, the Steelers get one “Actually Call Holding On The Guy Holding Harrison” Card per game, and they used it at the perfect time. The picture on the card is the Monopoly guy with his arm wrapped around James Harrison’s neck.


Scientific Proof The Falcons Will Beat The Steelers This Weekend

September 10, 2010

Mysterious New York Post prognosticating entity “Hondo” has returned for another season of in-yo-face weekly NFL picks:

Ready to have your football fortunes hiked? I am ready for that.

After no doubt scouting training camps and breaking down thousands of hours of game film, Hondo has declared this in-depth prediction for the Steelers/Falcons opener this Sunday:

Falcons over Steelers: No Genital Ben for Pitt means Matty Ice and the Falcs should have a ball.

Crap. Hard to argue with that logic. Better luck next week, Steelers!

This Headline Doesn’t Sound Encouraging

August 30, 2010

“Status Quo?” Meaning, the amount of rape hasn’t changed?

Gotta be a little clearer with these headlines, Post-Gazette, cause it’s difficult not to immediately assume the worst. When it comes to the Roethlisberger situation, I think we’d all much rather be hearing about the “ultra-mega-super-NOT status quo.”

People Don’t Say “No Doy” Enough Anymore

August 20, 2010

Headline on (click for full size):

So that’s how that works? The Steelers use the NFL Season to determine whether or not they’re successful? Hrm. I thought they just waited for Maxim’s 100 Hottest Bodz issue to come out and hoped to be on it.

Cedric Benson Arrested Again; Dan Rooney Heard Yelling “Hey Look Over There!”

June 29, 2010


AUSTIN, Texas — Cedric Benson is in trouble with the law again.

An Austin police spokeswoman says the Cincinnati Bengals running back was arrested on Tuesday and booked into the Travis County jail where he posted bail and was released. An arrest affidavit says he punched an employee of an Austin, Texas, bar on May 30 after being kicked out for getting into an altercation with another patron.

What a criminal! Everyone’s looking at this and not at the Steelers, right? Let’s all pay attention to these criminal Bengals and how criminally criminal they are! Buncha criminals!

Come to think of it, I’m having trouble remembering what happened to the Steelers this past offseason… I know they re-signed Antwaan Randle-El, I remember Limas Sweed got injured…

OHHH! Now I remember the big thing! They hired Sean Kugler as their new offensive line coach. Crazy offseason, huh? Nice to know the Bengals are still the lone controversial crime-related team in the division. Yessiree, sure are criminals over there. Can’t believe they root for such criminals. Cough.

You Don’t Say…Like What?

June 3, 2010

Steelers Uncover Massively Significant Inside Info On SMU Receiver Sanders

April 26, 2010

This revelation about SMU wide receiver and Steeler third-round pick Emmanuel Sanders sounds exciting:

Oooh, oooh, what kind of inside info? He had a minor injury during the combine that no one else knew about, so he’s actually faster than his 40 time reflected? He was heavily recruited by bigger colleges but only went to SMU cause of some specific connection? He’s changed his workout regimen from his college career and is primed to enter the NFL far stronger than when he was originally scouted?

So what’s the INSIDE INFO?? Gimme the juicy details!

…During the process of evaluating Sanders as a possible replacement for Santonio Holmes, the Steelers received a character reference and scouting report about the 5-foot-11, 180-pound receiver from an unlikely source…

“I’m pretty proud of Emmanuel,” [Pitt Defensive Coordinator and former SMU coach Phil] Bennett was saying the other day, less than 24 hours after the Steelers selected Sanders with the 82nd pick in the National Football League draft. “He was gung-ho from the day he got on campus. He made everyone around him better. He loves to play the game of football. We used to call him ‘Go-Go’ because he never stops.”

WOW! His nickname was “Go-Go”??? That is some SERIOUS inside info, Steelers. If that inside info was on ESPN, it’d be in their Inside Insider section, the section where Insider subscribers have to subscribe to an even more Inside service because the info is so inside, it’d be too outside if it was just on regular Insider.

AND he loves to play the game of football? This guy’s the total package! In your FACE, teams that passed on Sanders because you thought he did not like to play the game of football! The Steelers got the INSIDE INFO on his football love from his former coach, the only one who could know or assume that!

Good thing for the Steelers that these bombshells never leaked to the press, cause Sanders would’ve rocketed up the draft charts and ended up with some team that values football-liking and nicknames about going above all other football skills. Meaning, he’d be a Raider.